The short version
- Most nerves come from the start of a conversation and from not knowing what will happen next. Preparation helps with both.
- Learn a few safety phrases, so you always know what to say when you don't understand or lose a word.
- Start with small, easy situations and count your attempts, not how well they went.
If you get nervous speaking Spanish, you'll know this one. You're next in the queue at the bakery and you've been saying una barra de pan, por favor in your head for two minutes. Then it's your turn, and you point at the bread and say "one, please".
It's very common, including for people who are confident in English and good at plenty of other things.
The nerves don't disappear because someone tells you not to worry. They get smaller when you're better prepared and when you've done the scary thing enough times that it stops being scary. This post is about how to do both.
Why speaking Spanish makes you nervous
It helps to know what you're actually nervous about, because each worry has a different fix.
| The worry | What helps |
|---|---|
| "I'll go blank." | Rehearse the conversation beforehand, out loud |
| "I won't understand the reply." | Learn a few phrases for asking them to repeat or slow down |
| "I'll make mistakes and look stupid." | Remember what the other person is actually focused on (see below) |
| "They'll switch to English." | Have one polite line ready to keep it in Spanish |
| "I don't know how to start." | Prepare your first sentence before you walk in |
Most of these are about not knowing what will happen. You can't control everything in a conversation, but you can prepare more than you think.
What the other person is actually thinking
When you're nervous, you imagine the other person noticing every mistake. In real life they're mostly doing what you do when someone speaks to you: trying to understand the message, and thinking about their own reply.
In my experience in Spain, people are pleased when you make the effort. A wrong verb ending or a la that should be el rarely gets noticed, let alone judged. What people do notice is whether you're trying to talk to them.
Ayer yo ir al playa is wrong in two places, and everyone will still understand you went to the beach yesterday. What stops a conversation is silence. If you have to choose between a slightly wrong sentence now and a perfect sentence in ten seconds, go with the one now.
Prepare the first 30 seconds
Nerves are usually worst right at the start. Once you've said the first sentence, it gets easier. So that's the part to prepare.
Before a situation you're nervous about, work out:
- Your first sentence. What you'll say as soon as it's your turn.
- The question you'll probably get back. At the bakery, it's ¿Algo más? At the doctor's, it's ¿Qué le pasa?
- Your answer to that question.
Say all three out loud a few times on the way there. Not in your head. Out loud, even quietly. That way your mouth has already said them once before it has to do it for real. There's more on why this works in why you understand Spanish but can't speak it.
Safety phrases for when it goes wrong
A lot of nerves come from the fear of the moment when you don't understand or can't find a word. If you have a phrase ready for that moment, it stops being a disaster and becomes something you know how to handle.
| Spanish | English |
|---|---|
| Perdona, no te he entendido. | Sorry, I didn't understand. |
| ¿Me lo puedes repetir, por favor? | Can you say that again, please? |
| Más despacio, por favor. | More slowly, please. |
| ¿Cómo se dice…? | How do you say…? |
| Estoy aprendiendo, perdona. | I'm learning, sorry. |
| Un momento, que lo pienso. | Hang on, let me think. |
Learn these until they come out automatically. With older people or in an office, you'd usually say perdone and ¿Me lo puede repetir? instead.
Estoy aprendiendo is worth having ready. Most people slow down and become more patient once they hear it. And fillers like pues and a ver buy you a few seconds in the middle of a sentence. There's a full list in Spanish filler words that buy you thinking time.
If they switch to English
This happens a lot in places with many English speakers, and it's usually meant kindly. The waiter hears your accent and says "Hi! What would you like?" If you'd rather keep going in Spanish, say so politely:
Start small and move up
You don't have to start with a dinner party. Start with situations that are short, predictable and low stakes, and move up when they start to feel normal.
| Step | Situation |
|---|---|
| 1 | Say buenos días and gracias everywhere you go |
| 2 | Order a coffee or buy bread |
| 3 | Ask a shop assistant one question |
| 4 | Make a comment to a neighbour in the lift or on the stairs |
| 5 | Have a two-minute chat with someone you see regularly |
| 6 | Make a phone call |
| 7 | Join a group conversation |
Stay on a step until it feels a bit boring, then move up one. Phone calls are hard for almost everyone because you lose facial expressions and gestures, so they come near the top. There's a whole post on handling phone calls in Spanish.
You can also warm up before any of this by practising at home. It won't replace real conversations, but it means your mouth has said the words before you're in front of someone. See how to practise speaking Spanish on your own for ways to do it.
Keep a simple tally on your phone. Every time you start something in Spanish, add one. It doesn't matter if it went well, if they switched to English or if you had to point. You opened your mouth, so it counts. Aim for one a day. After a couple of weeks you'll have a long list, and each one makes the next a little easier. Judging each attempt by how well it went is what makes people stop trying.
Common mistakes
Waiting until you feel confident before you speak.
Confidence comes from speaking. Start with a small step now.
Rehearsing only in your head.
Say your first sentence out loud on the way there.
Trying to say something complicated when you're nervous.
Use the simplest Spanish you know. Short sentences are fine.
Going silent when you don't understand.
Use a safety phrase: ¿Me lo puedes repetir, por favor?
Replaying every mistake afterwards.
Note one thing to fix, then add one to your tally.
Recap
- Nerves usually come from the start of a conversation and not knowing what happens next.
- Prepare your first sentence, the likely question and your answer, out loud.
- Keep a few safety phrases ready for when you don't understand.
- Start with small, predictable situations and move up one step at a time.
- Count every attempt, whatever happened.
It gets easier much faster when you've already said the words many times before the conversation happens. That's the idea behind 100 Spanish Conversations: one everyday conversation a week, practised out loud until it's familiar. If you'd like a friendly place to try out your Spanish first, the community on Skool is full of people doing the same thing.
Leeroy studied Spanish for years before moving to Spain and finding he couldn't hold a conversation. He built Basically Spanish around the method that fixed it. Questions? leeroy@basicallyspanish.com